Handy Tips For The First Date

I have been on a lot of terrible dates. Many friends of mine, have narrated their awful experiences with their dates especially on the first date.

First date is a really important start in any relationship. Most people already know how far the relationship will go, just from the first date.

Remember you cannot get a second chance to give a good first impression

I was able to conduct a little research on what how to impress a lady on the first date.

These few tips can be used by anyone but was written for the males on how to give a good first impression.

1. Dress to impress.

This is the first and important, because before you even say a word, you have already been accessed as to your looks. Don’t over dress because that would make you look stupid, but put an effort. Never put on a rumpled shirt, never wear slippers. Smell good

2. Let her choose.

This simply means, let her pick the location of the date. Let her choose what she wants to eat, wear.etc.

3. Compliments! Compliments!! Compliments!!!

This cannot be over emphasized, compliment on her looks, the way she walks, how she eats, her smile. Do not ever be short of compliments. This just has a way of making her feel special.

4. Avoid unnecessary phone calls.

Completely avoid phone calls if possible. Phone calls can be distracting. It can be really annoying, like you could have stayed home answering those calls. Taking calls every two minutes while on a date, shows arrogance. If you must take a call say a slight excuse before taking it and make it as quick as possible.

5. Avoid awkward silence.

Its true that interaction is a two way street, but try to keep the conversation coming. Do not just talk about yourself, let her know you are really interested in knowing about her too.

6. Do not ask intimate questions.

This is short for do not poke nose.
Don’t start asking questions like; when last did you have sex? Avoid all topics about exes. This will only make the whole date uncomfortable.

7. Be as funny as you can.

I know everyone does not have the gift of making others laugh. But make an attempt, no matter how small, if she likes you, she will laugh not minding how dry the joke is.

8. Keep eye contact.

This here works like magic. Even if she is constantly looking away keep the eye contact coming. Try to see her soul through her eyes.

9. Hands off.

Avoid been too touchy. No matter how revealing her dress might be, keep your hands to your self. You obviously do not want her thinking you lack self control.

10. Decline her offer to pay.

Yea, I know this might sound off coming from a feminist. But truth is your girl might not be a feminist and her offering to pay might just be a way of testing to know if you can actually handle bills.

11. Walk side by side.

I have been on so many dates where my date would be so fast in walking that I would end up behind; and am like wait for me we on a date not a competition. No matter how slow she walks, don’t walk faster than her, make sure you always at her side while walking.

12. Picture time

It could just be a selfie, but do take a picture with her. You must not necessarily post it to social media, still take a picture with her. This again makes her feel special.

13. Respect her.

This is of utmost importance. Respect her choice,ideas, opinions, presence.
Give her the respect you know she deserve.

14. Be different.

Nobody likes monotony. Everyone wants a change every now and then. So try something different; offer to carry her hand bag. Just try not to be a regular guy.

15. Take home package

This was suggested by few of the women i interviewed, but i still consider it necessary to make sure she goes home with something you got for her. You obviously want her bragging to her friends and family about you, so let there be something to show for it.

These tips here would not be handy for every single woman on earth. People are different with different perspectives. But according to the interview I conducted, this here represents a high percentage of women worldwide.

In conclusion people go on dates for different reasons, but if you want other dates after the first date, you would want to make a lasting first impression.

Why the hate.

Feminism this feminist that. First and foremost feminism is a choice. It surprises me how people criticize feminism like anyone is trying to force them to become a feminist.

It is even more surprising, when women are ones throwing these insults. Believe it or not, accept it or not, feminism has been able to achieve a lot in our society today.

;Women suffrage, more equitable pay, easy access to education, just to mention a few. Even men easily find interest in well educated women, how do you think that privilege came about.

Because truth is, if courageous women did not take a stand and fight for what women truly deserve, who knows maybe by now you would be in some farm working while the males get all the privilege.

There is this popular saying that goes if you have nothing good to say then keep your mouth shut. The fact that you choose not to be a feminist does not give you the right to throw unnecessary insults at the ones who have chosen to embrace this identity.

Funny thing is most people don’t even know the true definition of feminism they just consider it easier to discriminate.

If you desperately want to become a feminist but probably don’t like the way most people go about it, why don’t you just come up with your own definition and live with. Feminism does not have a bible or manual in which one must strictly follow.

Discriminating feminists does not in anyway make you a better woman or man.

In conclusion I don’t know what the future holds for feminism, but one thing I am sure of is that I will be proud that I actually believed in something and stood by it till the end.

My Carbohydrate free week

So I did a carbohydrate free week, which means for one whole week which is from Monday to Sunday I did not consume any energy giving food (carbohydrate).

This is kind of big deal because I live in Africa, Nigeria to be precise where our main dishes are highly energy giving; rice, yam, bread, spaghetti, garri, indomine.These and many others are basically our main dishes in Nigeria.

But I actually challenged my self to go a full week without eating any of these. Some might begin to ask questions like what exactly did i eat? Was i starving yourself? Well no I wasn’t starving myself, within this week I got to find out that we actually do have other nice healthy dishes here.

Here is a list of everything I ate from Monday to Sunday.

Monday
Morning….Boiled Unripe plantain and stew
Afternoon……Garden egg
Night…… Ogbono soup and oat flour

Tuesday
Morning…… Boiled Plantain and vegetables
Afternoon…Tiger nut
Night…….Ogbono soup and oat flour

Wednesday
Morning……Beans and plantain
Afternoon….cucumber
Night………… Carrots and water melon

Thursday
Morning….. Boiled Plantain and vegetables
Afternoon…. Moi moi
Night……. Beans

Friday
Morning……..
Afternoon….peanuts
Night….oha soup and oat flour

Saturday
Morning……..
Afternoon…oats and boiled egg
Night……oha soup and wheat

Sunday
Morning………..
Afternoon…….Pottage beans

That is it. You will notice some of the spaces were left blank, that is because i couldn’t eat due to one reason or the other.

So you can see we actually have really healthy foods here in Nigeria.

This challenge wasn’t as difficult as it seems, yes I did miss eating our main dishes and I also got tempted a few times but all the same it was really good for me.

I got to eat my best food which is plantain, almost everyday. I got to eat more fruits and take more water, which really helped improve my skin and helped me loose a little weight.

The only disclaimer about this challenge I did was; due to fact that carbohydrate foods are energy giving foods, I felt tired most of the time, but its not like I couldn’t do anything or i fainted while walking. I just felt it, but i could still go around with my daily routines.

This challenge is a really good diet plan because carbohydrate foods are the main source of excess fat in the body.

So in conclusion try it out and see. Your body would definitely testify.

LIVING LIFE

Reading this piece might be the last thing you do on this earth. Seeing that special someone or even enemy might just be the last. Making a phone call to remind how busy you are and can’t make it again might just be the last time you ever hear from that person.

The truth is we can never predict tomorrow, even healthy people end up dead before people in the hospitals with deadly diseases. No one knows when or how they are going to die, we all just know its going to happen someday.

What is it all worth then, doing things like going to school, working, paying bills, stressing when you don’t even know if you are going to live till tomorrow. Yea faith is good, faith of long life, good health and all that, but lets be honest those who are already dead had that same faith, maybe not all but most did.

Sometimes one might get the survivals guilt of why not me, why mum or dad or husband or wife or whoever. These days family and friends now come together after such a long time for a wake keep or burial.

But when the person was still alive probably celebrating a birthday, wedding, anniversary; excuses begin to pop up like busy with work, busy with school, something just came up. And when the person finally dies and no longer has any opportunities, a lot of people then gather to mourn and cry over their graves and give the ‘burial in a grand style’.

How about birthday; which is celebration of life, in a grand style, while the person is actually still present not six feet under.

Why don’t we try changing our mindset today and begin to be present and enjoy moments with the ones we love, so long as we are alive its definitely worth it.

Its true no one is ever ready for death or invites it but how about we make most of our living so that death isn’t so painful and having in mind that whoever is dead is almost fulfilled, maybe this way it will be easier to let go.

Death is actually a part of life cos we all must die someday, but we all are so scared of it probably because of what and whom you will be living behind or one loose ends or the other.

Why don’t we start tying loose ends today; finally make your move tell him/her how you actually feel, do that which you always wanted to do, settle whatever grudge and finally let go the burden, make that call because you never can tell. Let the ones close to your heart know how much you love them and show them with your actions. Most importantly of of all do what makes you genuinely happy.

There is no need trying to be somebody else, be yourself, love yourself and do what makes you happy. In conclusion lets live today cos it might just be the last.

That’s just life.

We often go through some really though times in life that we begin to wonder exactly what we did to deserve this. I mean really terrible things that one would be forced to ask why of all the people on this planet did this choose to happen to me?

There are really bad people like serial killers, thieves, terrorists and I was chosen. Thoughts begin to run through your mind of all the good things you have done, and with all these thoughts you are assured that you really don’t deserve this. Maybe its mistaken you for another person.

People would usually say everything happens for a reason, but there are sometimes that things happens and we try hard to find out exactly the reason why this happened and we end up disappointed because we eventually find none. Others would try to convince that this is just a blessing in disguise and tell you to just need to be patient to actually see the blessing in this, but the patience eventually begins to run out and there still seems to be no blessings.

Truth is not everything actually happens for a reason and not all bad things are a blessings in disguise. Life can just really mess one up some times and things don’t always go like we planned, that’s just life. And yes bad things do happen to good people.

L. Lionel Kendrick once said “Life is not always easy to live, but the opportunity to do so is a blessing beyond comprehension. In the process of living, we will face struggles many of which will cause us to suffer and experience pain.”

We just need to accept these bad occurrences as just one of those things and move on, cause if we keep waiting to get a reason, when any single thing goes wrong we might just end up losing another opportunity to obtain even better.

Learning to move on is really important. We need to live life expecting the best but prepared for the worst.

TACHA TACHA TACHA

Natacha is a human like every other person and is allowed to have flaws. Tacha not only is she an independent young lady, she is also a confident and strong person and fears no one. I love the amount of confidence she has in herself and how lives her life to please no one. But she also has no self control, a bad temper but like every other human is open to corrections and advises. I believe people just feel its easier to hate her and as humans we always go for the easy way out. Life in the big brother house is not as it seems because living with people from different parts with different attitudes and personality in a secluded environment is not easy at all, self control is very necessary if in this situation because you will definitely get pushed beyond limits. I just feel the hate on Tacha is too much and quite unnecessary because nobody is perfect, just because your flaws are different from hers does not make you any better than her. So let’s try to cut down on the hate and actually remove the stones from our eyes before another. This is also one a the many causes of suicide, how can one person who has not killed anyone or hurt anybody personally be hated so much by a lot of people, even people she does not know exists. Well people obviously tend to transfer personal frustration and anger to other people. Natacha you are strong, beautiful and gold and Nothing and No one can break you. You go girl.

Bitter truth.

Relationships are like buildings, it takes time, efforts, attention to build, paint and furnish to your taste, it also takes the same and more to maintain and despite all these can be torn down in less than a mintue; just like that and it’s like it never even existed, all you have are just memories.

One may wonder why it doesn’t take the same time it took to build to be destroyed, but that’s just life. Life is not always; give and take, in that you don’t always get what you give.

You give love, trust, loyalty, attention and what do you get in return cheat, lies and betrayal.

People who remain in toxic relationships are always seen as cowards who can’t see beyond their nose but these are actually people who have seen what they want and not willing to let go easily, that’s why they keep granting second chances always hoping it will be the last.

Bob Marley once said “Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for”.

Autumn Kohler also said ” when a relationship gets bad it’s like standing on a broken glass, if you stay you keep hurting? If you walk away you will hurt but eventually heal.

One would wonder why people still venture into this connection called relationship and others keep granting second chances even when it’s obvious it wont be the last.

Could it be that they enjoy being hurt by others? Could it be that they are just weak? Could it be that one can only really love one person, that’s why you keep fighting when you believe you finally found that person?

Well life itself is a risk and only the courageous get to live it to it’s fullest. Same as relationships, you just gotta put your self out there expecting the best but prepared for the worst.